#LADIES HANDS OFF THE MERCHANDISE GUY FULL#

HeвЂ™s really intense, and switches between a calm, measured approach and the wild Hot Rod weвЂ™re more familiar with.

I mean, heвЂ™s not blacked-up, so we can take it as a victory. This is probably the best of Piper weвЂ™ve seen in a backstage environment at WrestleMania. Mean Gene is with Bret Hart, and his opponent, The Intercontinental Champion, вЂњRowdyвЂќ Roddy Piper. Undertaker rolls him back in the ring, and thatвЂ™s the end of that. Roberts goes outside and starts beating up on Paul Bearer, and ends up eating a Tombstone outside the ring for his troubles. вЂTaker gets up from two DDTs, which I think shows the companyвЂ™s faith in him as a star, because as weвЂ™ve seen, the DDT used to be one of most feared finishers in the business. The Undertaker straight-up chokes Roberts, but Heenan explains it as the referee being too scared of The Undertaker to do anything about it вЂ“ thatвЂ™s good commentary. Jake is very clumsy in the match, and with his weight gain IвЂ™m assuming heвЂ™s not engaging in the healthiest of recreational activities outside of the ring. This a weird set-up for this match, because the story seems to be Jake Roberts going up against insurmountable odds, but heвЂ™s the villain and Undertaker is the fan favourite which is an odd choice for such a story. Jake вЂњThe SnakeвЂќ Roberts vs The Undertaker He spends the entire interview just rubbing his oily body and itвЂ™s super creepy. Mercifully, we cut to Jake вЂњThe SnakeвЂќ Roberts backstage, and heвЂ™s become all chubby in the space of a year. This interview just doesnвЂ™t know when to end though it goes around to each person at least twice, and by then IвЂ™m losing the will to live.

#LADIES HANDS OFF THE MERCHANDISE GUY FULL#

TheyвЂ™re accompanied by Paul Ellering, so my initial thought is вЂњOh, at least they have someone to speak for them, and I wonвЂ™t have to listen to a dozen вЂlet-me-tell-you-something-brothers'вЂќ but oh no, Hawk and Animal have something to say.ДЄnimal is in full on cliche eighties wrestler promo mode, but HawkвЂ™s bit about the Legion of Doom being a runaway train before, but now they have Ellering at the helm is actually quite good. IвЂ™m looking forward to a time when we have more Shawn Michaels and less bald dudes shouting at me but for now, we have Mean Gene Okerland interviewing The Legion of Doom. Santana goes to scoop slam HBK from the apron back into the ring, but Michaels just kinda collapses on Tito, grabs a handful of tights and thatвЂ™s it.ДЄs he leaves with Sherri, Monsoon, Shawn Michaels is referred to as вЂњThe star of the ninetiesвЂќ which is an unusually astute observation. ItвЂ™s a shame that isnвЂ™t the end of the match, because the actual end is super underwhelming. Obviously, one day thatвЂ™s going to be Sweet Chin Music, one of the most dynamic finishes in wrestling, but for now, itвЂ™s just another move. I love seeing wrestlers doing moves theyвЂ™re famous for before theyвЂ™re famous for it, and sure enough this match features Michaels hitting Santana with a вЂњReverse Crescent KickвЂќ as Monsoon calls it. ThereвЂ™s a headlock from Santana that seems to last for ages and really sucks the wind out of the proceeding, and the match isnвЂ™t helped by the woman on the front row who FUCKING HATES Shawn Michaels, and wants to make sure he knows. When both men really go at it, this is a great match. HeвЂ™s a veteran, but heвЂ™s still quick enough to keep up with HBK. Tito Santana is the absolute perfect opponent for the up-and-coming Shawn Michaels. When I heard the opening screams of вЂњ Sexy BoyвЂќ I threw my arms straight up in the air with excitement, because Mr. As El Matador prepares in the ring, we hear the unmistakable yelp of Sensational Sherri which heralds the arrival of The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels. I donвЂ™t want to think about how El Torito was conceived. HeвЂ™s now being billed as El Matador, and looks like Fernando y DiegoвЂ™s dad. Tito Santana comes out for the first match, and it seems itвЂ™s taken him at least eight WrestleManias to realise heвЂ™s Mexican. WeвЂ™re treated to the country music stylings of Reba McIntyre who sings the national anthem, and the camera makes sure to focus on the kids in the crowd who are mouthing along, but obviously donвЂ™t know the words. I mentioned last week that Vince was hilariously angry in the opening package, but heвЂ™s going berzerk in the intro for WrestleMania VIII, itвЂ™s amazing! Our commentators for tonight are Gorilla Monsoon, and the man who recently celebrated his sixty-eighth birthday, Bobby вЂњThe BrainвЂќ Heenan. ThereвЂ™s some great action with some of my favourite wrestlers coming into their own, as well as veterans proving theyвЂ™ve still got it in my favourite WrestleMania match of the run so far. Not to give the game away, but WrestleMania VIII is one of those events. Before I started this venture, a lot of people told me that WrestleMania doesnвЂ™t really get good until the late nineties, but thereвЂ™ve been a good few of them in the early run that IвЂ™ve enjoyed.

Ladies hands off the merchandise guy